CSUEB prof explains popularity of 'missed connection' sites

• November 29, 2011 5:12am

"Regret is a strong motivator to do something, anything, to rectify the situation," said Heike Winterheld, assistant professor of psychology, in an interview with Oakland Tribune reporter Angela Hill about the popularity of posting missed connections on sites like Craigslist.

In her article, “Missed connections give fate a second chance,” Hill wrote, “The hope that such a random encounter might mean more has spurred hearts and dreams for centuries in various forms, from handwritten poetry and verse to personal ads in newspapers, notes tacked to telephone poles or bulletin boards in laundromats, and now more than a decade of online messages on Craigslist and other sites. Thousands of men and women post missives daily all around the globe in a never-ending stream of winsome wishful thinking.” Read article.

Winterheld explains that most people face a difficult psychological experience during that brief encounter with someone they fancy. "You see someone attractive and are motivated to say hello. But that urge stands in stark contrast to the need for self-protection. The very behavior that could serve to initiate a relationship increases vulnerability to rejection and pain. So in that brief decision-making moment, you might not act."

KL