Help a Friend

You are not alone. Help is available at Cal State East Bay

A Supportive Friend

Is someone who...

  • Maintains a calm manner
  • Listens without interrupting
  • Lets them know it is not their fault
  • Educates on options & resources
  • Allows them to make their own choices
  • Allows expression of feelings
  • Sets judgments aside

And doesn't...

  • Blame or question their actions
  • Tell them what to do
  • Ask for details probing questions, such as:
    • "Why did you drink so much?"
    • "Why did you go to their room?"
  • Minimize their feelings, by saying things like:
    • "It is ok now"
    • "I know just how you feel"

Let them Know they Have Resources and Options

It is the survivor's choice to contact resources or report to the police or the University. We support your choice.


Confidential Resources

These resources are Privileged and Confidential. This means they may not report any information about an incident of Sexual Violence to anyone else at the University, including the Title IX Coordinator, without the victim’s consent.

Privileged and Confidential resources include the Campus Confidential Advocate and counselors at the SHCS Center.


The Campus Confidential Advocate can provide:

  • Private, empowerment-based crisis counseling
  • Help understanding both administrative and legal processes
  • Accompaniments to the hospital, police station, court and administrative meetings.
  • Can assist in academic, housing and employment accommodations
  • Referrals to on and off-campus resources 

Administrative Resources

Victims are encouraged to report Sexual Violence directly to the Title IX Coordinator.

Read the guide to Understanding Title IX and What to Expect When Reporting.


The campus Title IX Coordinator is available to explain and discuss:

  • Your right to file a criminal complaint (in cases of Sexual Violence)
  • The University’s relevant complaint process
  • Your right to receive assistance with the complaint process, including the investigation process
  • How confidentiality is handled
  • Available resources, both on and off campus; and other related matters

Criminal Reporting Resources

Reporting to University Police and/or local police is an option at any time following a Sexual Violence incident. Depending on the circumstances, the police may be able to obtain a criminal restraining order on your behalf.

Learn About Common Myths and Facts on Sexual Assault

Myth: Individuals provoke sexual assault by the way they dress or when they act in a promiscuous manner.

Fact: Sexual assault is never the fault of the victim. Sexual Assault is an act of violence and control that stems from a person’s determination to exercise power over another. Neither the way a person dresses nor their previous sexual behavior with anyone are invitations for sexual activity.

Myth: If a person goes to a bar or back to someone’s room or house, they assume the risk of sexual assault. If something happens later, they can’t claim that they were raped or sexually assaulted because they should have known not to go to those places.

Fact: This idea of an “assumption of risk” wrongfully places the responsibility of the offender’s action with the victim. Engaging in sexual activity with another person without that person’s affirmative consent is sexual assault, regardless of where it happens. Even if a person went voluntarily to someone’s home or room and consented to engage in some sexual activity, this does not serve as affirmative consent for all sexual activity.

Myth: It is not sexual assault if it happens after drinking or taking drugs.

Fact: Being under the influence of alcohol or drugs is not an invitation for sexual activity. A person under the influence does not cause others to assault them; others choose to take advantage of the situation and sexually assault them because they are in a vulnerable position. A person who is incapacitated due to the influence of alcohol or drugs is not able to consent to sexual activity.

Myth: Most sexual assaults are committed by strangers. It’s not rape if the people involved know each other.

Fact: Most sexual assaults are committed by someone the victim knows. A Department of Justice study found that eight out of ten rapes are committed by someone known to the victim. Most often, an intimate partner or former intimate partner, classmate, friend, acquaintance, or co-worker sexually victimized the person.

Myth: Rape can be avoided if women avoid dark alleys or other “dangerous” places where strangers might be hiding or lurking.

Fact: Sexual assault can occur at any time, in many places, to anyone. Most sexual assaults are committed not by strangers, but by someone known to the victim. The majority of sexual assaults occur at or near the victim's home.

Myth: A person who has really experienced sexual assault will be hysterical.

Fact: A person who has experienced sexual assault may exhibit a spectrum of responses to the assault which can include: calm, hysteria, withdrawal, anxiety, anger, apathy, denial, and shock. Being sexually assaulted is a very traumatic experience. Reaction to the assault and the length of time needed to process through the experience vary with each person. There is no “right way” to react to being sexually assaulted. Assumptions about the way a person “should act” may be detrimental because each person copes in different ways.

Myth: A person who has experienced sexual assault will report the crime immediately to the police. If they do not report it or delay in reporting it, then they must have changed their minds after it happened, wanted revenge, or didn’t want to look like they were sexually active.

Fact: There are many reasons why a person may not report the assault to the police or campus officials. It is not easy to talk about being sexually assaulted and can feel very shameful. The experience of retelling what happened may cause the person to relive the trauma. Another reason for delaying a report or not making a report is the fear of retaliation by the offender. There is also the fear of being blamed, not being believed, and being required to go through judicial proceedings. Just because a person does not report the incident does not mean it did not happen.

Myth: Only heterosexual women are assaulted.

Fact: Sexual violence affects people of every gender identity and sexual orientation. While women and girls experience sexual violence at high rates, men and boys also experience sexual assault. Transgender and nonbinary individuals experience high rates of sexual violence. It is important to remember that sexual assault can occur in heterosexual and same-gender relationships. Assumptions about the “typical” victim might lead others not to report the assault because they do not fit the stereotypical victim profile.

Myth: It’s only sexual assault if the victim puts up a fight and resists.

Fact: There are a number of reasons why a person who is sexually assaulted may not resist. They may experience an involuntary response to what is happening that physically prevents them from resisting or moving (sometimes called “tonic immobility”). A person may also fear that if they resist, they will anger their attacker, resulting in more severe injury. Many assault experts say that victims should trust their instincts and intuition and do what they believe will most likely keep them alive. Not fighting or resisting an attack does not equal consent.

Myth: Someone can only be sexually assaulted if a weapon was involved.

Fact: In many cases of sexual assault, a weapon is not involved. The offender often uses physical strength, physical violence, intimidation, threats, or a combination of these tactics to overpower the victim. Although the presence of a weapon while committing the assault may result in a higher penalty or criminal charge, the absence of a weapon does not mean that the offender cannot be held responsible, criminally or otherwise, for a sexual assault.

Contact Us

Title IX/DHR Office

25800 Carlos Bee Blvd
Student Administration, SA 1109
Hayward, CA 94542

Phone: (510) 885-4918
Website: Title IX

Terri La Beaux
Title IX Coordinator
Phone: (510) 885-4918

Ellen G. Maloney Ruhe
Office Support Title IX & DHR
Phone: (510) 885-2788

JoLani Hironaka
DHR Administrator
Phone: (510) 885-2237